Archive for Guthrie

JOSE ENRIQUE, WE’RE IN THE TOP SIX!!!

Posted in Football with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 2, 2012 by Mallaz

Yesterday Newcastle United humiliated their former manager, Kenny Dalglish, and his Liverpool side at St. James’ Park.  Clueless “King” Kenny watched as his side slumped to a 2-0 defeat and finished the game with ten men.

The game was billed as the decider for a top six finish, with Newcastle beginning the game eight points clear of Liverpool.  It also saw the returns of Jose Enrique and Andy Carroll to St. James’ Park.  Another former Magpie, Craig Bellamy, also started for Liverpool.

Jose Enrique left St. James’ under a bitter cloud after publicly criticising the club’s transfer policy on Twitter.  He stated “This club will never again fight to be among the top 6 again with this policy” after claiming Newcastle were letting all of their major players go.  Has anybody actually missed Jose though?  We started the season with Ryan Taylor at left-back and he was superb.  His goals against Everton and more specifically the free-kick against Sunderland have helped make him a fan’s favourite.  While Davide Santon has struggled to settle in and failed to impress, I still believe we have gotten by just fine without Enrique and guess what Jose…

We’re in the top six!

Andy Carroll cut a pretty miserable figure on his return too.  He was constantly booed and looked a shadow of the player he was when he played in black and white.  I didn’t boo Andy Carroll though, I still like him and Liverpool are my third favourite team, after The Toon and Everton.  I also like Bellamy because he’s an absolute dick-head, but he has the swagger to be able to carry off being a dick-head.  I just don’t like Kenny Dalglish because he ruined us when he was our manager, and I don’t like Enrique because I’ve always thought he was overrated and arrogant.

Liverpool started the game the livelier of the two sides.  A Jonjo Shelvey shot was deflected just over the cross-bar early on and a Martin Skrtel header went over the top before one of the game’s big talking points.  Andy Carroll got the better of Mike Williamson and looked to have rounded Tim Krul before taking a tumble inside the Newcastle penalty area.  He was booked for diving and that epitomised what was a very bad afternoon for Andy Carroll.  If he hadn’t have dived then he was round Tim Krul with an easy finish, even though it was on his wrong foot.

Liverpool continued to press and Tim Krul was forced into a brilliant save when he tipped a deflected Craig Bellamy cross onto the bar as he continues to impress in between the sticks for The Toon.  I still stand by my claims that Tim Krul will become better than Peter Schmeichel ever was.  The visitors from Merseyside also had a very good shout for a penalty waved away after Danny Simpson made yet another goal line clearance, only this time with his arm.

The first goal came in the 19th minuteHatem Ben Arfa, enjoying possibly his best form since joining Newcastle, got the better of the Liverpool defence before his perfectly weighted cross found Papiss Cisse in acres of space at the back post, leaving Cisse with a simple header to put The Toon in front.  It was brilliant work by both Ben Arfa, who really seems to be finding his feet now, and Cisse, who’s positioning was outstanding.  I’m still not convinced that Papiss Cisse is fully settled in yet, although he is a natural born goal-scorer.  I think the best of Cisse is still to come!

Cisse also came close to doubling his tally near the end of the first half when he directed a header just wide of Pepe Reina’s post from a Danny Guthrie cross.  The teams went down the tunnel at half-time with The Toon leading but one goal.

At half-time Me Fatha asked me what we needed to do to make sure that we won this game.  I simply replied, “Score another goal.

In the second half a Newcastle side full of confidence overshadowed a dejected Liverpool side and almost doubled their lead within minutes of the restart when Mike Williamson hit the post with a header.

Papiss Cisse made it 2-0 in the 59th minute when he again found himself in plenty of space with an easy back post tap in after some brilliant Newcastle build-up play typical of a side brimming in confidence.

Tim Krul made a rare mistake just after the hour which allowed Luis Suarez a free chance on goal but another in form Newcastle player, James Perch, made a crucial block.

Things went from bad to worse for Kenny Dalglish’s side in the 81st minute.  Mike Williamson had another header on goal, which this time was saved by Pepe Reina.  As Reina ran out with the ball James Perch tripped the Liverpool goalkeeper.  The reaction of Pepe Reina was that of a stroppy child, he confronted Perch and head-butted him.  Perch over dramatised the matter, which seems commonplace in the Premier League these days, and threw himself to the ground.  There was a bit of fracas with players from both sides involved before the referee took control of the situation and rightly showed Perch a yellow card before sending Pepe Reina off.  Reina’s petulance continued as he didn’t leave the pitch in a hurry only serving to run down the clock.  He continued to shout at James Perch as he left the field and appeared to be saying that more would come after the match.  It was all very petty stuff from the embarrassed goalkeeper.  Reina’s sending off meant that Jose Enrique was forced into seeing out the remainder of the game in goal for Liverpool as Kenny Dalglish had already used all of his substitutes.

The matched finished 2-0 and Newcastle extended their lead over Liverpool to eleven points, tied on points with fifth-placed Chelsea and ten points clear of Everton in seventh place.  That almost certainly guarantees us a top six finish.  So much for Jose Enrique!

Liverpool look to be a club on the slide, whereas Newcastle are a club on the rise.  Andy Carroll has failed to find his form and Kenny Dalglish is now coming under fire.  Newcastle can take positives from the performances of certain players in recent games and now have some momentum going into Friday’s game at Swansea, after winning our last two games.  Hatem Ben Arfa followed up his Man of the Match performance against West Brom with another brilliant display and was involved in creating both of Papiss Cisse’s goals.  Cisse again showed his killer touch and his brilliant positioning play with the two goals.  James Perch was outstanding again, as he has been in recent games and looks as though he is constantly improving.  For me James Perch was the Man of the Match.

GEORDIE BOYS TAKING PAPISS!

A WEEKEND WASTED IS NEVER A WASTED WEEKEND!

Posted in Betting Tips, Football, General Gobshiting, Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 7, 2011 by Mallaz

Another weekend draws to a close and it’s time to recap and attempt to piece together what really happened.

DOWNTOWN LESTER BROWN

On Friday, DOWNTOWN LESTER BROWN played another Too Far North gig at The Dog and Parrot.  According to Photo Dave, it was our best performance to date.  Of the four bands that played, we brought the largest crowd and as usual blew everyone away.  Needless to say, I was paggered when I was on stage shaking my noisy things.  We opened with Mallaz Beats The Devil, played a couple of new tracks and finished with Man On The Run.  It was good to see Smack-Knackers at the gig, and as an added bonus he brought V For Vendetta, who’s back from New Zealand.  Also, good old reliable Sam Nelson kept up his record of attending everyone of our gigs so far… and we didn’t even play his favourite track (at the request of Ben and Richard, giving the fans what they want!), although I did give him a shout out as a bit of recognition because I know how to keep people happy.

High Definition Jazz Kitten

I obviously made an impression too.  After we finished our set, some kid who had come to see one of the other bands came up and asked for his photo taken with me.  He reckoned he’d witnessed history in the making and compared it to when The Sex Pistols played in front of 42 people.  It was a pretty fukkin good performance!

In other DLB related business, I finally managed to upload the two videos from our Riverside gig from October 11th.  Fukkin Youtube’s shite though!  It took me four fukkin attempts to upload Dufresne’s Escape!  It takes six fukkin hours to upload a bastard video, only to say the cunt didn’t work!  Sort it out you gang of twats!  I’m gonna have to go through the same clart this week with the videos from Friday’s gig as well.

The Love & Other Diseases EP is just about complete and hopefully we’ll be releasing that real soon.  Also, the Empty Heed single is now available to download for just 50c on CD Baby.  The next gig we’ve got lined up is my gig at The Telegraph.  I’ve also got The Mojags already confirmed for that one, give them a listen.  They really impressed us when we played with them at The Riverside.

FOOTBALL STUFF

I’ll start with the betting challenge with Wor Shitus

For the God knows how many consecutive-th week in a row, we both had a total fukkin wash-out.  That leaves him on -£239.89 and me on -£274.96.  If you want a useful tip, here’s one… don’t fukkin listen to either of us!

Obviously, with having a season ticket for The Toon, I was at the Everton game on Saturday and I’ve gotta tell you, these early kick-offs take the piss!  I was still smashed from Friday’s gig when I got to the match.  It’s a good job the first half was entertaining as fuck or I’d have struggled to stay awake!  Ryan Taylor’s goal was absolutely fukkin awesome!  Goal of the Month already, nothing can match that.  Especially when you consider he’s a Liverpool fan too.  I also wish to say Tim Krul will become the best goalkeeper in the world!  I’ve been saying that for a few years now and grow more and more confident with each game I see him play.  However, I really don’t rate Danny Guthrie, the useless cunt, or Danny Simpson, the weakest link in our defense.  He’s scared to make a fukkin tackle and backs off far too much, allowing wingers to get into the box.  He was guilty of that in the first half, in the build up to Louis Saha hitting the post.  Get fukkin Santon in before Simpson really drops a bollock!  We were shite in the second half and just allowed them to come at us.  We got lucky that Everton have been shite this season or we could have been punished for that.  Three points is still three points though and the mighty Magpies march on!

Ryan Taylor... Over them all...

Watched Match Of The Day tonight too.  Ali Al Habsi was unbelievable for Wigan today, it’s a shame they got fucked off Wolves.  He needs to find a better team to play for, because he really did not deserve to concede three goals after that performance.  Goal of the Month was a disappointment too.  It should blatantly have been Gutierrez’s goal against Wolves, he skinned three fukkin players before he slotted it past the oncoming goalkeeper and last defender!  That presenter’s an irritating fukkin prick an all!