Archive for the Opinions On The News Category


Posted in Music, Music Recommendations, Music Reviews, Opinions On The News with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 6, 2012 by Mallaz

God made it easy on me...

You Beastly Bastard!

Wednesday was my birthday.  I fukkin hate my birthday but a new bucket hat and a Happy Mondays ticket, for the O2 Academy in Newcastle on May 4th, helped to ease the blow.  As also did Swede Mason, who released another video onto YouTube on my birthday.  Check out Swede Mason’s YouTube channel on this link and subscribe for future releases.

Swede Mason on YouTube

Swede Mason’s new track is titled ‘Well bugger to you, you Beastly Bastard’ and is totally typical of Swede Mason.  More video sampled and cut into a new video with added beats to create an incredible audio-visual collage.  While ‘Well bugger to you, you Beastly Bastard’ may not be Swede Mason’s greatest work his genius is unrivalled.  It is still a truly epic work, however in my opinion not as brilliant as ‘Jeremy Clarkson’s Beatbox’ or ‘Bill Wyman’s Metal Detector’ to name but a few.

Apparently, according to Clair, the video for this track is taken from The King’s Speech or something.  I’ve never heard of it or seen it, but then I’m not Ed Zachary a film buff.

Well Bugger to you, you Beastly Bastard’ is vulgar, repetitive and really quite childish, yet it is amusing, entertaining and quite frankly fukkin fantastic!

Check out Swede Mason latest work on the link below.

Swede Mason – Well bugger to you, you Beastly Bastard 

Also check out my blog about Swede Mason in my musical recommendations category or on the next link, where you’ll find links to some of my favourite Swede Mason tracks.

Swede Mason Blog

Some Recommendations

While I’m on the subject of music, I may as well drop a couple of recommendations.


I’ll start with Brotha Priah, another musician who does something a bit different.  Priah is a massively underrated artist who is starting the make an impression on the North East music scene and has the potential and drive to go a long way.

Brotha Priah uses a Boss RC-300 looping station and a Kaosspad to build up tracks on the spot.  What makes it all the more impressive however is that Priah makes all of the sounds with his voice, beat-boxing beats, harmonies and bass-lines and looping them to create unique tracks.  He has an exceptional talent and is extremely passionate about music.  Priah explains it better than me, so click on the following link for a video of Priah explaining how he does what he does.

Brotha Priah – Boss RC-300 + Kaosspad 3 Intro 

Don’t forget to subscribe to Brotha Priah’s YouTube channel.

Brotha Priah on YouTube

I first noticed Brotha Priah when I seen him performing at SubLevel2 at The Head of Steam a while back.  He was one of the artists the particularly stood out that night, in amongst local Hip Hop heavyweights Baron Von Alias & MistaBreeze and Rick Fury.  Read my take on that night on this link;

As I mentioned, Priah is starting to build his reputation on the North East music scene, particularly with the Hip Hop, DubStep and Drum n Bass crowds and is quickly becoming one of the usual suspects at live events in the region.  With a few live performances coming up in April, including Rex Regis’ album launch, on 11th, and The Warehouse Party, on 28th, Priah is starting to make his mark.

He’s also performing at my gig, The Egg at The Telegraph, Orchard Street, Newcastle on Saturday.  Click the next links for more information on The Egg.

The Egg

Facebook Event


Whilst on the theme of artists with individuality, my next recommendation is a band so unique that they don’t fit inside any standard genre classification.

Honey Chrome’s sound is a marvellous mash-up of many genres, with many different influences.  Not only do Honey Chrome differ from every other band, each of their tracks differs in style and sound from each other.

With Honey Chrome there’s synthetic bass, heavy drums, rocking guitars and distorted vocals aplenty.  Call it whatever you want, there’s a bit of everything in there.  You’ll notice influences from many different artists within Honey Chrome’s sound and they bring it all together in a brilliantly orchestrated fusion.  The effects are truly profound.

Honey Chrome

I think my favourite Honey Chrome tracks so far are ‘I Think I Luv U’ and ‘Fractured Days’.  As afore mentioned, Honey Chrome’s style and sound changes between tracks and those two are more mellow and more suited to my tastes than the heavier ‘Mind Machine’, which would have plenty of appeal with Rock and Heavy Metal fans.

Honey Chrome are playing in Stockton on Tees tonight at The Sun Inn along with The Skank Sinatra & Friends Show and Dressed Like Wolves.  Doors open at 7.30pm, find further details of that on this link;

I have also got Honey Chrome booked to perform at two events for me in May.  They will be playing at The Telegraph on Friday 4th May and at The Troll at The Bridge, at The Bridge Hotel in Newcastle on Saturday 19th May.  Check out the video of Honey Chrome performing live at The Telegraph at my gig in March on this next link.

Honey Chrome – I Think I Luv U (live at The Telegraph) 

Details of the May 4th gig at The Telegraph are still to be confirmed.

The Troll at The Bridge on Saturday 19th May is being held at The Bridge Hotel, Castle Garth, Newcastle upon Tyne.  Entry is £3 payable on door.  Doors open at 7.30pm and the event will run until 11pm.  Also performing that night will be local Indie Pop sensation Emergency Door Release, the ever-impressive Alternative act Artisam and Funk-Rock band Downtown Lester Brown.

Check out Honey Chrome’s website –

And check out the Facebook Event for The Troll at The Bridge and the four acts involved on the following links.

The Troll at The Bridge 

Honey Chrome

Emergency Door Release


Downtown Lester Brown


After what feels like a lifetime in waiting, it’s almost finally here. Tomorrow night at The Telegraph on Orchard Street, behind Newcastle’s Central Station is The Egg!

The Egg is a night of live music and a whole new experience.  A culmination of artists from across a wide range of genres, The Egg offers something for every musical taste.  There’s the notorious Baron Von Alias & MistaBreeze with the awesome Eliza Lawson delivering North East Hip Hop with a comic book twist.  Another of the main highlights are the epically vibrant Funky Ska band Ginger Snap & The Style Pile giving you something to dance to.  Artisam, who are also performing The Troll at The Bridge, will be performing as a five-piece for the first time after the addition of their new drummer and fiddler.  We’ll also have some Krautedelic Electro Fuzz from Parastatic, something I’m really looking forward to seeing live.  As mentioned earlier there’ll also be a live Beat-Boxing performance by the up-and-coming Brotha Priah with his looping station and Kaosspad.  There’s also some acoustic brilliance in the form of Baiqian Jiang and his fingerstyle and a DJ set from Greenline DJ, also known as Dj Id.

Seven different artists on a night that runs til 2am for a paltry £4 is a steal!

Doors open at 7.30pm and the £4 entry is payable on the door.

Further information about The Egg can be found on my blog, along with links to each artist, or on the Facebook on the two links below.

The Egg

Facebook Event

Ginger Snap Jam (photo by Andrew Jessop)

Follow me on Twitter – @Mallaz84

Subscribe to my YouTube channel –

And like my Facebook page –

And now some shit in the news that made me laugh…

I was on Twitter yesterday morning and my timeline was flooded with shit about Samantha Brick, she was also trending.

Now I’d never heard of her and I’m a naturally inquisitive bastard.  So I looked and up, and here’s the jist of what her crack is…

Samantha Brick is some random, moderately attractive, middle-aged blonde writer from The Daily Mail, who wrote an article earlier this week whining on about how difficult life is being beautiful.

Here’s a link to the article, have a gander;

Throughout the article this self-obsessed woman bemoans the strains that her supposed beauty causes her, from bitchy bosses to jealous girlfriends.  She claims that women hate her for no other reason but her “lovely looks.

Samantha Brick’s arrogance and up-your-own-arsery become glaringly apparent with this quote from the article, “Unfortunately women find nothing more annoying than someone else being the most attractive girl in a room.”  Pretty full of herself for someone who claims has many clients who are models, and also doing well on casting gender stereotypes.  She also claims to be “tall, slim, blonde” and often told that she is “good-looking”.

I don’t know about slim though flower… I see a bit of a pot-belly thing going on there.  Have a look at the photos and see if you agree.  She’s also got quite chunky, stumpy looking legs.  To claim she’s “slim” is slightly hopeful.  She’s not in terrible shape for a middle-aged woman of forty-one, but she’s not shaped like Gwen Stefani or Elizabeth Hurley!

As I said before, she’s only moderately good-looking.  In my opinion she’s got a dodgy-looking nose and a freaky, weird smile.  She’s got kind of a Miss Piggy-like face.

At the end of the article she claims to be “probably one of very few women entering their fifth decade welcoming the decline of my looks.”  A statement that seemingly contradicts herself as earlier in the article she stated she works at her appearance.  She works out, doesn’t drink or smoke and rarely eats chocolate.  Not really the actions of a woman in her early forties welcoming the decline of her looks is it?

I’m not even gonna touch that her husband is a Frenchman and wearing soldier clobber in the photos, that’s too easy.

Samantha Brick is a deluded, self-obsessed attention-seeker and I’m bewildered as to why a newspaper would publish such nonsensical bull-shit written to solely to pander the author’s ego.  I mean, that’s not fukkin news is it???

And as if that twaddle wasn’t ridiculous enough for you, the backlash from Samantha Brick spawned another article, this time by Tim Dowling for The Guardian.  You can read that on this next link.

This is yet another prime example of up-your-own-arsery by a self-obsessed, egotistical twat.  Tim Dowling claims that men envy him for his looks.  In my experience most men couldn’t give two shits about how another man looks, the competitive element lies in other things, like sports for example.

I think anyone who uses phrases such as “brooding”, “chiselled jaw” and “soulful, beseeching eyes” to describe themselves appears to be either a purely pretentious cunt or pitching themselves on a lonely hearts dating website.

Tim Dowling prattles on that if you’re a man you probably find him a threat.  One statement that stood out for me was, “I can’t tell you how many male acquaintance shave stopped speaking to me over the years for petty reasons (unpaid debts, being alleged source of unpleasant rumour, refusal to appear as character witness), when jealousy is the transparent cause.

Yeah, sure people start to lose patience and you will fall foul of people if you don’t pay your debts.  As for refusing to be a character witness for a friend, either the friend is a complete scum-bag of Tim Dowling blatantly refused to help a friend in need.  I wonder if the reference was for a job or for court, as he fails to mention any specifics.  Either way it’s pretty shitty and I wouldn’t be best impressed if a so-called mate refused to help where they could in such situations, unless of course it was a seriously bad crime.

He claims also to know exactly how many men have been angered enough by his face to want to punch it.  For some reason I suspect it may be his arrogant, pretentious, self-absorbed attitude that makes people want to smash his fukkin face in, rather than how his face looks.

There is also no mention of Tim Dowling having a partner within the article.  I suspect this is also related to him being a Grade-A plum!


Posted in Music, Opinions On The News with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 22, 2012 by Mallaz

Apparently there was some controversy surrounding Heat 2 of the Battle of the Bands, at Coatham Bowl in Redcar, on Friday.  Now my view of what has supposedly happened is totally independent and objective, as I have no involvement with the Battle of the Bands, Roundel Events or any of the bands that were involved.  I have been in full support of the Battle of the Bands.  It’s a valuable opportunity for artists to perform in a great venue in front of new people and expand their fan bases and networks, as well as helping to regenerate the music scene in Redcar and the North East as a whole.  Also before I go any further, I would like to state that I was not at the event and I am writing based on the information currently at my disposal.

Battle of the Bands 2012

The acts that competed in the second heat were; Paul Woods, The Panoramic, The Method, Raging Jupiter, D-Fault and The Kill.  The two bands who progressed to the next stage of the competition were The Method and The Kill.

The Kill

Check out The Kill’s website or listen to them and like them on Facebook.

The Kill website –

The Kill’s Facebook page –

Unfortunately I am unable to find anything by The Method that you can listen to without having to like their page, so I’m not going to bother with links for them.

If you read my previous blog, , then you would know I have no time for acts that make you like them before you can even listen to anything by them.

Apparently the main issues with Friday’s heat were with the sound and the judging, but also that certain bands were allowed to play far longer than the allocated twenty-five minute sets.  After Friday’s event Sherry Clark, the organiser of the Battle of the Bands competition, made the following statement on Facebook.

“I am apologizing for the way the battle turned out tonight complaints about sound and judges comments the judging is out my hands I had no say over any of it”

There has been some very interesting statements made relating to this second heat, as well as some very idiotic and petty remarks, however Sherry has been far from vocal on the matter.  The only other statement currently released by anyone connected with the organisational team behind the Battle of the Bands was by Leanne Parvin yesterday afternoon, also on Sherry’s Facebook page, which read;

“To all bands competing in heat 2 of battle of the bands. It has been raised to the attention of roundell promotions that there has been a few complaints about timeing issues, these problems had a knock on effect. Unfortunatley The Method played a set 10 minutes short so the following band (raging Jupiter) were asked to fill the space. We would like to apologise for the fact raging Jupiter played over there alloted time through no fault of there own. This then left a knock on effect to the rest of the bands. It has also been drawn to our attention that the result had been fixed. Roundell promotions were in fact using impartial judges and can not be held responsible for the judges decisions. At the end of the evening two of the senior members of roundel promotions got up and sang a final song with the final band (the kill). People are preserving this as a biased action when in fact it was just a spur of the moment thing and we thought it would end a fantastic evening with something to talk about it is regardless of which band it was sang with. Roundel promotions would like to apologise for how this looked but we assure you there was no favouritism as every single band did a fantastic performance. We would like no hard feelings to come of this as we wish you all the very best and look forward to working with you all in the future.
Roundell Promotions team”

My main concern with this is that The Method also played in the first heat on Friday 13th January, and they failed to get through then.  I fail to see why one band should be given two attempts at progression to the next stage.  Also, after reading Leanne’s statement, I noticed that The Method played ten minutes less than the twenty-five they were allocated. If they didn’t even fill the required set then they should not have been allowed to progress.  They must have only managed fifteen minutes.

The Method

Regarding the promoters getting on stage with The Kill, who were the last act on the evening, I would have no issue with that, or that they ran over time, but maybe the promoters would have been better off announcing the results before performing with the band that was to progress to the next round.

According to what Chris Parvin said on Shelly’s Facebook page, which is where most of the debate relating to the Battle of the Bands has taken place, “if you took any notice at all you would see Leanne had the results in her hand before her and Sherry got up to sing.”  In my opinion they should have announced the results and then done their song as a celebration.  That would have saved any accusations of bias towards The Kill.

As I mentioned earlier there has been some interesting statements made and also there has been some good questions asked.  Josh Cooper asked “Why did the last band play for over a full hour with 15mins to set up?”  That was a long time before Leanne Parvis’ statement.  He still does not seem to have been given a credible response or any firm answers to his question.  He also made the point, “Even if it was totally by accident, it’s a massive middle finger to everyone else who rushed onto the stage with their gear and had to squeeze all their best stuff into a really short set.” and then went on to claim, “there was also alot of shitty underhandedness that went on”.  It was that comment that provoked Sherry Clark’s only response to the questions and accusations so far, to which she merely responded, “What under handedness please explain”.

By this point the accusations that the competition was rigged had already been made and Sherry failed to acknowledge or respond to said accusations.  Pug Vee-dub from D-Fault had earlier claimed that the event was “Fixed from the beginning , we were told wen we walked thru the door that the kill wud win”.  However, Pug’s credibility is extremely questionable after his following comments.  Remember I mentioned the idiotic and petty statements earlier?  Well I’ll get onto this muppet shortly, but first back to Josh Cooper, as he seems to be the most intelligent person asking questions about what happened or voicing an opinion on the matter.  Josh states that The Kill “got on at 20 past 10, and got off at half past 11.”  He then explains, “Basically Sherry, it’s a little bit fucking suspicious that the band who got by FAR the most time to set up and play, and also had the organizers perform with them, ended up being joint winners of the heat. There were whispers of that exact thing happening as soon as I walked through the door, people were already talking about it. I’m not even slightly surprised to be honest, it’s just a shame you can’t own up to your own bullshit.”

I also wholeheartedly agree when Josh says that the organisers need to take responsibility for what happened.  The organiser’s silence does not reflect well on them.  From a neutral point of view, there are questions that need to be answered and I feel that Roundel Promotions should make a statement before they run the risk of this competition becoming a shambles.

Now to get back to Pug Vee-dub, from D-Fault, and the petty, idiotic comments.  He’s been very vocal regarding what went on on Friday and not in a constructive way at all.  From his childish and pathetic statements and needless insults, I get the impression that he’s a sad, pathetic, sour little twat!  I’ll get round to giving you some examples of his bitching but first I would like to quote Mark Heslehurst, who said the following on Sherry Clark’s Facebook page.

” The band that came last slinging all this mud Hmm…Firstly all new business is a learning curve in saying that I was there at 3 PM and everyone was working hard to get this right…And have you thought how much not just time but finances Sherry has invested to bring live music back to redcar… thing all you bands you should bring more people with you—I thought it was a great night had by all……….This will grow and grow !!!!!battle of the bands will grow and Redcar will win !”

Firstly, I couldn’t agree more when it comes to bands needing to bring larger crowds to gigs.  Also I know from personal experience how much hard work is involved in arranging and promoting gigs, so an event of this magnitude obviously requires a hell of a lot of work on Sherry’s part and she has done a great job to pull it off in the first place and make it happen.  Mistakes have been made though, and certain issues need addressed.  Lessons can be learnt from these first two heats and hopefully the rest of the competition will run smoothly.

As for this mug Pug from D-Fault, according to Mark Heslehurst, D-Fault were the band who finished last and Pug has done D-Fault absolutely no favours with his sad pathetic comments.  Here’s a few examples of what not to say if you don’t want to come across as a daft cunt!

” Fuck off you really dont have a clue do ya , ive never played at such a nadly run and organised event and hopefully wont again ,, its like the nlind leadin the blind” – The spelling mistakes are Mug Vee-d’s not mine.

“Good put it out of its misery” – After someone said, “at this rate if u all keep going on they won’t be a final.”

“Hahahaha micky mouse contract” – Mocking the recording contract that is part of the prize for the winners of the Battle of the Bands competition.  The competition that he and his band entered!

“obv they r all on fuckin drugs or cant tell the time or retarded or more likely all 3” – Childish, to say the least!

“How bigs that spliff uve just mate hahaha” – Yet more pathetic accusations of drug use by those who disagree with Mug Vee-D.

“Your all on fuckin summat cos u aint on the same planet as us thats for sure” – And continuing to go round in sad little circles.

“We cudnt give 2 fucks who won , we knew from the start we didnt stand a chance , we are tge most unegotistical band ever , we play for the fun of it and dont take it seriously one little bit.” – This comment came after almost ten hours of crying like a bitch and making a show of himself on Sherry’s Facebook page!

And just to top it all off – “anyway some of us have real lives to be gettin on with , u lot just carry on takin whatever fuckin drugs your all and drift away to your cozy little bubble.”What an absolute fukkin bell-end!!!

Pug Vee-dub of D-Fault

At the end of the day though, this competition is a fantastic opportunity for the bands involved to perform at a great venue in front of people who may other-wise never hear of them.  It is also good for the live music scene in the North East.  Hopefully lessons have been learnt and the rest of the competition will run smoothly.


Posted in General Gobshiting, Opinions On The News with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 16, 2012 by Mallaz

Piers Morgan was in The Daily Mail raving about how good Twitter is yesterday.


I couldn’t agree more.  Twitter is essential for all the latest news, networking shit and, most importantly, slagging of celebrity numpties, ignorant and retarded reporters and shite footballers.

It was actually a Twitter argument with Ollie Holt, chief sports writer at The Daily Mirror, that inspired me to write my first blog.

Ollie Holt’s an ignorant, shit-stirring coward and if you’d like to regularly witness him making a cunt out of himself follow him.

Ollie Holt – @OllieHoltMirror

Another Grade A muppet who gives you plenty of ammo for abuse is footballing no-mark Nile Ranger.  This poor excuse for a human thinks he’s proper “gangsta”.  After some abuse from me, he tried to be a clever cunt and made a comment about me only having 23 followers at the time.  That must’ve backfired on the mindless twat because he’s never said anything since I replied to that and asked did he not recognise me and told him that I sit near the corner flag and catch all of his shots.  Fukkin moron!

Nile Ranger – @NilePowerRanger


If you like Toon and football related banter, gobshiting and general nonsense follow these lot.

Eggert Eggmundson – @EggusMaximus

Dan Wilson – @SirDanWilson

IWantCurlyHair2 – @Iwantcurlyhair2

Jack Cunningham – @jackc1

Nathan Wood – @NathanWould

Liam Wood – @Liamwood1987

All of those lads have top crack, so get following them!

For some random weird tweets follow the Weird Horse and his estranged owner the Baffled Farmer.

Weird Horse – @WeirdHorse

Baffled Farmer – @BaffledFarmer


A couple local music acts that you should follow are Baron Von Alias and The Stroll, both of who will be playing at my gig at The Telegraph in Newcastle on Friday 3rd February.

BaronVonAlias – @BaronVonAlias

The Stroll – @TheStroll1


And finally a couple of celebrities with decent patter worth following are;

Piers Morgan – @piersmorgan

Joey Barton – @Joey7Barton

Louis Saha – @louissaha08

and honourary Extreme Mackem Fisherman,

Warren Barton – @warrenbarton2



Posted in Football, General Gobshiting, Opinions On The News with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 20, 2011 by Mallaz

So, according to page five of yesterday’s Evening Chronicle, Sunderland “star” Nicklas Bendtner has had to apologise for being a dick-head off the pitch.

Mindless Vandal Nicklas Bendtner

The 23-year-old Danish retard was arrested in connection with a car-wrecking spree on 6th December, after vehicles on Stowell Street in Newcastle upon Tyne were damaged.  Bendtner was bailed, along with fellow Mackem mugling Lee Cattermole, club captain for the laughing stock of the Premier League.

Undisciplined Sad Mackem Bastard Lee Cattermole

Bendtner, on loan from Arsenal, stated that he was “picked up by polite and friendly policemen as CCTV footage allegedly shows us in the process of damaging parked cars after a wet night out on the town.”  So basically, this over-rated, over-paid, uneducated, talentless Mackem tramp and his accomplice, horrible moron Lee Sausage Roll, come and smash up our city after one shandy too many.

Now I believe sportsmen, footballers in particular, are role models for children and should therefore set an example to those that look up to them.  Vandalising parked cars when drunk is a childish and disrespectful petty crime and I believe these two heathen pricks should be made an example of in the court of law.  Bendtner and Cattermole are two adults who have had plenty of opportunity in life.  They have well paid jobs, and have displayed and arrogance and disregard for other people’s property that should be severely punished.  Idiots like these two clowns deserve to be put firmly in their places!  They need to learn that just because you’re a Premier League footballer doesn’t mean you’re allowed to do as you fukkin like!

What I believe the courts should do, to make an example of these two senseless Sad Mackem Bastards, is this; for every car that they damaged, I would order them to buy the owner a brand new car of the same or better model, as well as pay ridiculously huge fines, make them serve a short prison sentence each, followed by a period on Home Detention Curfew (tag) and the maximum amount of community service.

Only once you start making an example of twats like these, will the arrogant twats learn to behave!


More on this story…


Posted in General Gobshiting, Opinions On The News with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 30, 2011 by Mallaz

I found yesterday’s Evening Chronicle pretty fukkin amusing.

The front page headline read;


They also had a two page spread, on pages 4 and 5, about jobs being lost as more cuts are being made.

“1,100 jobs to go as axe falls again”

 Adrian Pearson explains how more than eleven-hundred jobs will be lost on Tyneside after the next dose of government spending cuts.  450 jobs are going to be lost in Gateshead council over the next two years.  Newcastle will lose 360 and North Tyneside, 300.  Services will be cut, charges increased and some libraries will be closed down.

It all sounds pretty fukkin dire, doesn’t it?

Fear not though.

It’s not all doom and gloom!!!

 In the same fukkin paper, on page 19, there is another article….

“Hope in jobs gloom”

That’s right people, there’s still hope yet.  Or so you’d fukkin think reading the title.  Kier, one of North Tyneside’s biggest building firms, has taken on six (YES, THAT’S RIGHT, SIX!!!!) new apprentices!

So all is not lost!!

Now my maths isn’t what it used to be, but if it’s still the same as when I was in school, it looks like this;  1,100 jobs lost – 6 jobs gained = a loss of 1,094 jobs.

Now that doesn’t really fukkin fill me with confidence!  And these are fukkin apprenticeships.  They give them to school-leavers.  I’m twenty-seven now, I’m not gonna get a fukkin apprenticeship!  Better hope I get somewhere with this art or music shite or I’m already on the scrapheap before I’m thirty.


Posted in General Gobshiting, Opinions On The News with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 28, 2011 by Mallaz

The Happy Chip takeaway, on Waterloo Street, in town is in some bother again.  The premises has been closed down for investigation after a 21-year-old woman collapsed on a night out after buying a legal high from the takeaway.

The Happy Chip

This comes a year after being in bother over Mephedrone.

In today’s Evening Chronicle, The Happy Chip has hit back in defence at selling the legal high.  It is both tragic and unfortunate that this woman has fallen ill, and is in hospital “critical but stable”, and I hope she has a speedy recovery.  However, the clue is in the name.  “LEGAL HIGH”.

The Happy Chip has done no wrong in selling a product that has not been made illegal.  Harmful or not, this product is fully legal.  Alcohol and tobacco are both killer drugs, yet both are legal, taxable drugs.  The Happy Chip has fully cooperated in the police investigation into the incident.  The Happy Chip’s spokesman, Bal Mohammed, said that the chip shop has been unfairly targeted for selling something that’s legal.  I couldn’t agree more.  An accident has happened and the police are looking for a scapegoat.  As with any drug related incident, if the person willingly takes the substance then they must assume the blame.  We all know that taking drugs is a risk.

Police Take Action Against The Happy Chip For Selling “LEGAL HIGH”

Drugs laws and regulations are already in place and have been for a long time.  If the legal high is dangerous then the government should have made it illegal.  It is not down to The Happy Chip that this substance can still be bought and sold legally.  Drugs that were proven to be less harmful than legal drugs such as alcohol and tobacco remain illegal.  Drugs like cannabis and ecstasy.  As long as people are still being criminalised for use of drugs many will resort to taking legal highs, many of which are new and have not been tested.

Now they’ll go through the process of making this substance illegal, which in my opinion, is a waste of time.  As soon as one substance is outlawed another variation or another substance will be invented, manufactured and made widely available.  The war on drugs is a war that will never be wonThe answer is to legalise ALL drugs.  Then all drugs would be regulated and safer than drugs bought illegally, which are mostly cut with all kinds of fillers.  They could also be taxed.  Taxing the drugs that are currently illegal would help the economy.  Instead of throwing money at the fruitless war on drugs, they could be raising money for education, health services and job opportunities.  Also drug users, who break no other laws, would no longer be criminalised and punished for their choice to use drugs recreationally.  Police time could be better used tracking down sex offenders and murderers too.  And, less people would be resorting to taking unknown and untested legal highs.  Taking drugs would be a lot safer than it is now.

Other benefits that the total legalisation and taxation of all drugs could offer would be extra tourism income.  If we were the first country to do this then there would be an increase in tourism.  As with Amsterdam, people would come to take drugs legally.  There would also be more control over the quality and the costs of drugs.  Manufacturers would compete to produce better quality drugs and keep prices at a reasonable level, so as to maintain a healthy business.  Also if drugs are readily available users would not have to go to extreme measures to find drugs when their usual suppliers don’t have any available.

There will always be drugs and there will always be addicts.  But, by total legalisation, otherwise law-abiding citizens will not be made into criminals for recreationally using drugs, and those not wanting to break the law would not resort to using new, unheard of, untested substances.  More money would be available for funding addict treatment programs and those who just like a joint or an E now and then won’t be deemed criminal scum by society.


Posted in Football, Opinions On The News with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2011 by Mallaz

I am gutted by the news of Gary Speed’s death.  I woke up today to see the news all over Facebook.  During my teenage years, Gary Speed was one of my favourite players.  I will never forget that diving header at Pride Park when we won 4-3 away to Derby County.

Gary Speed. Derby County 3-4 Newcastle United

He played more than 200 games for The Toon in six years and was capped 85 times by Wales.  He also won the old Division One with Leeds in the 1991-1992 season.  A TRUE LEGEND!

Gary Speed was a great footballer, model professional and true gentleman.  I remember getting his autograph when I was younger, and several occasions after games when he threw his shirt into the crowd.  It’s little touches like that that really make a player a fan’s favourite.

RIP Gary Speed - Legend!

My deepest condolences go to Gary Speed’s family and friends. 

Rest In Peace.

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