Archive for Riverside


Posted in Events, General Gobshiting, Music, Music Events Guides, Music Recommendations, Music Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 1, 2012 by Mallaz

A new week brings stories of the weekend and also the end of the month brings my usual guide to music events that you should be getting yourselves too.  So I’ll bash all that in together because not only did I have a pretty interesting weekend, there’s some pretty promising shit going on for me in May.

Saturday night I was at Dynamix Skate Park in Gateshead for SubLevel2 & Milk The Cow present: The Warehouse Party and an eventful evening it was.

On arrival I was greeted with the amusing sight of Baron Von Alias, MistaBreeze & Eliza Lawson all in matching onesies and on roller skates.  They performed to their usual high standard with their high-octane shenanigans.  Always a winner in my book, entertainment guaranteed.  That’s why I’ve got Baron Von Alias, MistaBreeze & Eliza Lawson headlining a gig at Newcastle’s Cluny 2 on Saturday 7th July, with support from Ginger Snap & The Style Pile plus others to be confirmed.  Further details of that will follow in the very near future so watch this space.

And speaking of space…

You might as well go over to and download their epic EP ‘Brace For The Impact’.  It’ll cost a mere £1.79, so is a proper bargain.  Check out the video for the track ‘Impact’ and marvel at the comic genius that is Baron Von Alias, MistaBreeze & Eliza Lawson!

Baron, Breeze & Eliza – Impact

Impact was the track that stood out for me on Saturday as it’s becoming one of my favourites and is always performed in energetic fashion live.

Another of the local Hip Hop crowd who made an impression on Saturday was Rex Regis.  I’ve seen Rex perform once before at SubLevel2 but this time he seemed to have a lot more oomph about him.  More enthusiasm in his performance and I enjoyed his set.  Get on Rex Regis and check him out on these links;

I was also impressed with the flair that SubLevel2 MC J-Man uses to work the crowd and build the hype.  I fukkin love that dude!  He’s apparently gonna be accompanying L87 during his DJ set at Order 66 at The Telegraph this Friday but I’ll come on to that in a bit.  L87 and Pegz were among the DJs playing at The Warehouse Party, although by the time they were playing I was absolutely twatted!

J-Man & Me

It was a quality night and the music wasn’t the only action for little old me, although I have absolutely no memory of the story to follow, from what I’m told I’m completely blameless in the situation…

The story as told to me goes something like this; Sam Warren aka L87 of SubLevel2 and one of the organisers of the event is a mate of mine and the intention was to head back to his.  Between Sam seeing me at the bar and calling me down to see him this muppet bouncer has intervened and accosted me for the old closing time eviction.

The ignorant prick wouldn’t listen to me when I explained that I was with Sam and he became a little bit hostile and proceeded to manhandle me.  As always, due to natural instincts I am unwilling to control, when some knob-ed puts his manky fukkin mitts on me in an aggressive fashion I smack the twat.

So I cracked the bouncer in the mouth apparently, but remember it was him who introduced the violence into the situation when he started being the hard-man and pushing me about.  Well him being a meat-heed bouncer and me being a skinny dick-head, he decked me and was supposedly rough-housing me while I was down until good old Rudas stepped in and persuaded the bell-end bouncer to allow him to escort me from said premises without the use of unwarranted aggression and a touch of the old violent.

At some point during the altercation with this cock-sucking, roid-fuelled meat-heed I lost my fukkin awesome green bucket hat!  What an absolute fukkin cunt!  That’s two awesome bucket hats I’ve lost this year already!  So anyone in the fashion industry, I’ll happily negotiate an endorsement deal for a box full of bucket hats.  I look fukkin awesome in a bucket hat; it’d be a wise investment.

Lost me fukkin hat!!!

I’m currently clinging to the slim possibility that my hat has been handed in at the skate park and that I will one day see its safe return.  Fuck the graze and bump on me heed and the little scratch on me knee, I never felt those happen.  I just want me fukkin hat back!  It’s my favourite hat!

Aside from said knob-ed bouncer though, it was a fukkin class night and if you missed it I’ve got no sympathy for you as you woefully weep like a bitch in your bedroom tugging away at your blistered penis.  Just saying…

Anyway I’m close to recovered from the weekend and looking forward to May kicking off.  I’ve got two events lined up in May with some very exciting artists that I’m really looking forward to seeing perform live for the first time.  Plus…



God made it easy on me…

Well my dad did when he bought me my ticket for Happy Mondays and Inspiral Carpets playing at Newcastle’s O2 Academy on Thursday 3rd May for my birthday.  It’s gonna be “double double good!”  I can’t fukkin wait!

I seen Shaun Ryder and his band perform live at The Riverside in Newcastle in May last year and it was one of the best nights of my life.  I never thought that I’d get to see the Mondays’ original line-up but it’s fukkin happening!  I got a ticket for The Stone Roses in Manchester in the summer too but than in no way shape or form can top the Happy Mondays!!!

I spoke to Rowetta on Twitter a few days ago (that proper made my day!).  Besides being an epic vocalist, she’s a lovely woman too.  She wasn’t giving a lot away though, but she did say, “There will be something from Yes Please but the set will be a surprise x” which is, according to Shaun Ryder’s autobiography ‘Twisting My Melon’ his least favourite of the Happy Mondays albums.  However, I quite like a few of the tracks on there.  I even wanted my old band to cover ‘Sunshine and Love’, but their negativity ruled out that possibility because we didn’t have keys.  Fuck them.

Here’s a video –

God made it easy on me...

However it was ‘Stinkin Thinkin’ or ‘Monkey in the Family’ that I asked Rowetta for.  Because I’m a greedy bastard, I also asked if ‘God’s Cop’, ‘Loose Fit’ and ‘Wrote For Luck’ and Rowetta told me that I won’t be disappointed.  Stating the obvious there I think, Happy Mondays are my favourite band of all time!

Here’s a couple more videos of the Happy Mondays just because I’m proper buzzing that I’ll be seeing them live in a matter of days!

Monkey in the Family

Loose Fit

Get following the Happy Mondays and Rowetta on Twitter.




The first of my two events during May is Order 66 at The Telegraph, behind Newcastle’s Central Station, and will be held this week on Friday 4th May.  Obviously I like all of the music that’ll be getting played but there’s two that have seemingly generated some interest from people I’ve spoken to.  Peculiar Disco Moves and Cerebral Scars have attracted some very promising feedback.  Here’s a couple of videos from these two acts two wet your whistle.

Peculiar Disco Moves – Mr X (live)

Cerebral Scars

There’s also plenty to get excited about with the other acts involved to.  Check out all of the artists involved on these links;

Peculiar Disco Moves

Honey Chrome

Emergency Door Release

Cerebral Scars


Double D

and SubLevel2

L87 & J-Man

Check out the Facebook event for Order 66.  Seven acts, running until 2am, for only £4.  Winner!


Following Order 66, on Saturday 19th May at The Bridge Hotel, Castle Garth, Newcastle I’m hosting The Troll at The Bridge.  For only £3 entry on the door you can catch four live bands.  Check out Honey Chrome, Artisam, Emergency Door Release and Downtown Lester Brown on the following links;

HONEY CHROME Extreme Fusion


ARTISAM Alternative


Doors open at 7.30pm.  Here’s the link to the Facebook event too –

Right, well I was gonna go and prattle on about what certain artists are up to this month but then I thought, “Fuck it, I’m not getting paid shit for this!

So instead I’m gonna briefly mention some shit and move on to the May gig guide after naming my Song of the Week.

Honey Chrome

I’m currently helping Honey Chrome with promotion as I believe their Mind-Fuck Music for the Criminally Insane is quite frankly nothing short of genius.  Here’s a track to get you going before I give you a quick briefing of what they’re up to in May.

Honey Chrome – I Think I Luv U (live)

Now that you’ve had your introduction to their madness I’ll tell you what they’re doing.  They’re playing both Order 66 on 4th May and The Troll at The Bridge on 19th.  They’ll also be playing at The Blyth and Tyne Battle of the Bands on 31st, but I don’t know much about that.

They’ve also been doing some of that recording malarkey so expect some epic releases to follow.  Keep up to date with Honey Chrome on their website or Facebook page.

One of my previous musical recommendations, Emergency Door Release, continue their rise in the North East music scene with a bank holiday weekend bonanza that includes three live performances and some brand spanking new tracks.  They’re gigging first at The Troll at The Bridge on the 4th and then also have gigs the following two days.  Check out this link for details of Emergency Door Releases live schedule and to hear their music.

Head Of Light Entertainment


I may as well fuse my Song of the Week with a musical recommendation because this next act was recently brought to my attention and I love them!

Head Of Light Entertainment are an excellent three-piece acoustic act from Teesside.  Their sound is a brilliantly off-beat, quirky and downright strange stroke of genius.  The lyrical content is intelligent, witty and delivered in spectacular fashion.

My Song of the Week is;

Head Of Light Entertainment – What Must You Think Of Me?

Head Of Light Entertainment are; Carl Green on vocals and guitar, Simone Silivistris on vocals and keyboard and bass and percussion man, John Taylor.  They are also about to release their second album ‘The English Don’t Care’ due out on Monday 7th May.

Check of Head Of Light Entertainment’s website and like their Facebook page on these links.

Now onto the gig guide…


Tonight, Tuesday 1st

LYXX with The Erotics – Black Bull, Gateshead.  Tickets £4.

tickets –

Thursday 3rd

Happy Mondays + Inspiral Carpets – O2 Academy Newcastle.  Tickets £35.

Happy Mondays Official Aftershow Party: ‘Bez’ PA & DJ Set – O2 Academy 2 Newcastle.  Tickets £6.–tickets

Friday 4th

ORDER 66 – The Telegraph, Newcastle.  £4 entry on the door.


Saturday 5th

Tynemouth Fake Festival – Percy Park Rugby Club, North Shields.  Tickets from £17.50.

Crookfest – Crook Town AFC.  Tickets £10.


Sunday 6th

Lionfest Round 2 – The Golden Lion, Jarrow.  Free entry.

Crookfest – Crook Town AFC.  Tickets £10.

Steve Cooke with Andy X live – The Park Hotel, Middlesbrough.  Free entry.


Thursday 10th

Frankie and the Heartstrings live – W34, Hoults Yard, Newcastle.  Tickets £7.

Steve Cooke with Andy X live – Crown & Anchor, Redcar.


Friday 11th

Oscillations – Some Might Call It Krautrock – Bar Loco, Newcastle.  Free entry.

Rick Fury Presents… ‘Fist of Fury Live’ – Cluny 2, Newcastle.  Tickets £5.


Saturday 12th

The Time Travellers Ball, Green Festival Launch Party & Fundraiser – Northumbria Students’ Union, Newcastle.  Tickets £10.

Saturday 19th

THE TROLL at THE BRIDGE – The Bridge Hotel, Newcastle.  £3 entry on the door.


Friday 25th

Werbeniuk + Frozen Rope + Indigo Child – The Sun Inn, Stockton-on-Tees.


Saturday 26th

Milk The Cow presents: 2 Bad Mice + Submerse + Radgepackets + support – The Globe, Newcastle.  Tickets £8.

tickets –

Well that’s everything out the way for now like.  Follow me on Twitter.



Posted in Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 3, 2012 by Mallaz
Happy Mondays

“I like that… Turn it up!!!”

My old fella woke me up with a phone call early this afternoon.  Usually, I’m not a fan of being woken up with phone calls but I can make an exception this time.  He’s bought me a ticket for Happy Mondays and Inspiral Carpets at the O2 Academy on 3rd May.  BOOM!

“One day he was admiring his reflection in his favourite mirror…”

I’m getting the ticket for my birthday in April and I can’t fukkin wait!  In May last year I went to see Shaun Ryder and his band playing at The Riverside, as well as Nobby Solano on his trumpet with the Geordie Latinos.  That was one of the best nights of my life… so far!  It also made performing at The Riverside with my old band a life-long dream come true.  By life-long, I mean since May last year.  I played on the same stage as Shaun Ryder once did, class!  See the video of that gig on the link below.

“I can virtually do anything I read…”

Shaun Ryder and Bez are my fukkin idols and the Happy Mondays are by far my favourite band of all time so to get the chance to see the original line-up back together after nineteen years.  I was gutted when the Shaun Ryder 2012 Tour was cancelled but for the Happy Mondays to reform totally makes up for that!


“Smiling like a cat when his milk came through…”

If you haven’t read Shaun Ryder’s autobiography ‘Twisting My Melon’ I suggest you do.  It’s not the best written book in the world but the content, his story, is the most inspiring thing I have ever read!  Clair got me his book for Christmas and I read it over the course of a day.  Never in my life have I read a book that quickly, it usually takes me longer than that to read a newspaper, but this was a captivating read and as I stated earlier, the most inspiring work I’ve ever laid eyes on.  Shaun Ryder is a fukkin genius!  I also got Bez’ book ‘Freaky Dancin’ – Me and The Mondays’ for Christmas and have just started reading that.  Bez isn’t as daft as he appears either.


“You know you talk so hip man, you’re twisting my melon man!”

I’ve also got a ticket for The Stone Roses at Heaton Park in Manchester on 1st July, but Happy Mondays tops that by far!  But that does mean that 2012 is a truly epic year on the gig front.  Now all I need is tickets to see The Farm.

Drop Acid, Not Bombs



Posted in Music, Music Recommendations with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 14, 2011 by Mallaz

I listen to music all of the time and I listen to all sorts of music, new and old, from across almost every genre.  My favourite artists include Shaun Ryder of the Happy Mondays, David Byrne of the Talking Heads, The Rolling Stones, Ian Brown of The Stone Roses and Swede Mason, who I believe should be knighted!

I also listen to a lot of new music, particularly from the North-East because it’s local to me.  So what I’m gonna do is give you some recommendations of what to listen to, based on what I’m listening to these days.  I’ll do my best to cater for different tastes, just because I’m nice like that.

What I’ll do is recommend a handful of acts you may or may not have yet heard of and prattle on a little bit about them.  Then I’ll give you a ten track playlist that will include some of my favourite tracks as well as new stuff worth listening to and then I’ll stick the links to the acts that I have recommended at the bottom.

If you click on any of the highlighted track titles in this blog you will be forwarded to somewhere you can listen to that track online.  Same with highlighted names, they’ll take you somewhere online relative to whatever you’re clicking on.  It’s not rocket science.

The Mojags

To start off with, I highly recommend checking out The Mojags, a young Rock band from North Shields area.

The Mojags performed at The Telegraph for me on December 2nd.  They have bags of talent and, being so young, have limitless potential.  At my gig they did a brilliant cover of ‘Hey Joe’ by Jimi Hendrix.  This is a band that’s going places so keep an eye out for them.

The Mojags at The Telegraph, 2nd December 2011

In 2010 they won the Teenage Kicks Battle of the Bands.  They are also competing in a Battle of the Bands in Redcar next year.  They are in Heat 2 on Friday 20th January 2012.  The Battle of the Bands is held at Coatham Bowl in Redcar and entrance fee for any of the heats is £10.  The event is in aid of charity.  Get down for that and show some support for a great band and help raise some money for charity.

The Mojags can be found on Facebook, YouTube and Soundcloud.  I would recommend listening to ‘Ojay‘ if you’re only gonna listen to one; it’s my favourite of the tracks currently available online.

Also check out this video on YouTube .  It’s The Mojags video of ‘Sychophant‘, shot as their prize for winning the Teenage Kicks competition.

The Stroll

Another band on the way up is Durham based Alternative Indie Rock band The Stroll, who are a new outfit only started in August.  They’ve only got one track online at the minute ‘Different Tune, Different Mood‘ and you can listen to that on Soundcloud.  It’s a catchy track like, and displays a small portion of the talent that these lads possess.

I saw them perform live at LYH the other week when I played there with Downtown Lester Brown.  Being a brand new band they are still doing quite a few covers but their original stuff is quality.  I particularly liked ‘Searching’, which is apparently about looking for magic mushrooms.  Their choice of covers was a cool blend of things ranging from The Beatles to The Stone Roses.

The Stroll

It’s not just the music that makes The Stroll a great band in the making.  The Stroll have a great vibe and energy and create an electric atmosphere at gigs.  They’re a fun band and their crowd interaction is impressive.  Their singer Josh Pringle has good crack and his patter on the microphone in between tracks is entertaining.  This band has it all and I’m tipping The Stroll to become massive!  They epitomise everything I was after when I set up Downtown Lester Brown.  They are a fun, energetic band with a great vibe and attitude as well as plenty of talent and drive.

The Stroll are also performing in the Battle of the Bands, in Heat 1, on Friday 13th January 2012.

I also have them booked for Friday 3rd February 2012 at The Telegraph, behind Central Station in Newcastle.  That’ll be £3 in and the wisest investment you’ll ever make.

Look up The Stroll on Facebook and Soundcloud and remember, you heard it heard first!

Baron Von Alias & MistaBreeze

If Hip Hop’s your bag, here’s another act with a sense of fun.  Hip Hop duo Baron Von Alias and MistaBreeze are an audio-visual spectacle to behold, so I would recommend checking out their videos on YouTube to get the full effect.  The Baron is an emcee time-lord from 1830 and sports a huge tashe, top hat and sunglasses, so you know he’s got a sense of humour, however, he’s also an excellent wordsmith and a born entertainer.

Baron Von Alias

I was put onto Baron Von Alias and MistaBreeze by old school mate Nathan Wood, who has his own radio show.  He recommended I listen to ‘Get Wild, Gan Mental’, which is growing on me but I didn’t take kindly to it at first.  I told Nathan on twitter that I wasn’t impressed and The Baron piped up.  After a bit crack on, The Baron said I should give some of his other material a whirl.  I did, and I was impressed.  I blame Nathan for his poor choice in track selection whilst making recommendations.

There are plenty of quality tracks by The Baron and MistaBreeze so check out their YouTube channel.  You’ll enjoy their official videos and their live stuff.  I’m particularly keen on ‘White Noise’.  The Baron and MistaBreeze do make fukkin awesome videos!  I’d also recommend checking out the video of Baron Von Alias performing ‘Phoney’ on Amazing Beats, because I find it really fukkin impressive.

I saw Baron Von Alias and Mistabreeze performing live at The Head of Steam in Newcastle the other week and they are an act well worth catching.  For £5 you can see them live at The Riverside this Thursday (15th December) .


So that’s three acts for you to check out, now here’s a couple other things that you wanna check out.

The Local Music Show

The Local Music Show presented by Nathan Wood, on Spark Sunderland.

That’s 107FM local radio or can be listened to live online at every Sunday at 4pm til 7pm.

Nathan plays music from local bands from across all different kinds of music so give that a listen and you’re bound to hear something that tickles your fancy.  Mix that with a little bit of low brow humour and smut and you’ve got yourself one canny Sunday afternoon’s listening.

Battle of the Bands

As mentioned earlier, there’s a Battle of the Bands going on in Redcar in early 2012.  The competition is being held at Coatham Bowl, in Redcar, every Friday from 13th January 2012, with the final being held on Friday 9th March 2012.  The entry fee to these events is £10.

The Mojags and The Stroll are both competing in the Battle of the Bands so get down for their heats and show some support.

Heat 1 – The StrollFriday 13th January

Heat 2 – The MojagsFriday 20th January

Battle of the Bands 2012

Now Here’s My Recommended Ten Track Playlist

Here’s a ten track playlist I recommend listening to.  Click on the song title and you’ll be directed either to a YouTube video or somewhere else online that you can hear the track for free.  Enjoy.

Happy Mondays – Yahoo

Mick Jagger – A Memo from Turner

The Mojags – Ojay (live)

The Stone Roses – Good Times

The Stroll – Different Tune, Different Mood

Swede Mason – Bill Wyman’s Metal Detector

Baron Von Alias & Mistabreeze – Its OK

Public Enemy – What You Need Is Jesus

Gorillaz ft Shaun Ryder – Dare

Flowered Up – Weekender

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed what you’ve listened to and if you’ve got any recommendations let me know because I’m always willing to listen to new things.  Also please share this blog so that other people can hear the acts that I have mentioned and to get a little bit more publicity for the charity Battle of the Bands competition.

Thank you.


The Mojags

Facebook –

Soundcloud –

YouTube –

The Stroll

Facebook –

Soundcloud –

Baron Von Alias and Mistabreeze

Facebook –

YouTube –

Bandcamp –

Soundcloud –

Spark Sunderland 107FM

Battle of the Bands 2012

Facebook –


Posted in Betting Tips, Football, General Gobshiting, Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 7, 2011 by Mallaz

Another weekend draws to a close and it’s time to recap and attempt to piece together what really happened.


On Friday, DOWNTOWN LESTER BROWN played another Too Far North gig at The Dog and Parrot.  According to Photo Dave, it was our best performance to date.  Of the four bands that played, we brought the largest crowd and as usual blew everyone away.  Needless to say, I was paggered when I was on stage shaking my noisy things.  We opened with Mallaz Beats The Devil, played a couple of new tracks and finished with Man On The Run.  It was good to see Smack-Knackers at the gig, and as an added bonus he brought V For Vendetta, who’s back from New Zealand.  Also, good old reliable Sam Nelson kept up his record of attending everyone of our gigs so far… and we didn’t even play his favourite track (at the request of Ben and Richard, giving the fans what they want!), although I did give him a shout out as a bit of recognition because I know how to keep people happy.

High Definition Jazz Kitten

I obviously made an impression too.  After we finished our set, some kid who had come to see one of the other bands came up and asked for his photo taken with me.  He reckoned he’d witnessed history in the making and compared it to when The Sex Pistols played in front of 42 people.  It was a pretty fukkin good performance!

In other DLB related business, I finally managed to upload the two videos from our Riverside gig from October 11th.  Fukkin Youtube’s shite though!  It took me four fukkin attempts to upload Dufresne’s Escape!  It takes six fukkin hours to upload a bastard video, only to say the cunt didn’t work!  Sort it out you gang of twats!  I’m gonna have to go through the same clart this week with the videos from Friday’s gig as well.

The Love & Other Diseases EP is just about complete and hopefully we’ll be releasing that real soon.  Also, the Empty Heed single is now available to download for just 50c on CD Baby.  The next gig we’ve got lined up is my gig at The Telegraph.  I’ve also got The Mojags already confirmed for that one, give them a listen.  They really impressed us when we played with them at The Riverside.


I’ll start with the betting challenge with Wor Shitus

For the God knows how many consecutive-th week in a row, we both had a total fukkin wash-out.  That leaves him on -£239.89 and me on -£274.96.  If you want a useful tip, here’s one… don’t fukkin listen to either of us!

Obviously, with having a season ticket for The Toon, I was at the Everton game on Saturday and I’ve gotta tell you, these early kick-offs take the piss!  I was still smashed from Friday’s gig when I got to the match.  It’s a good job the first half was entertaining as fuck or I’d have struggled to stay awake!  Ryan Taylor’s goal was absolutely fukkin awesome!  Goal of the Month already, nothing can match that.  Especially when you consider he’s a Liverpool fan too.  I also wish to say Tim Krul will become the best goalkeeper in the world!  I’ve been saying that for a few years now and grow more and more confident with each game I see him play.  However, I really don’t rate Danny Guthrie, the useless cunt, or Danny Simpson, the weakest link in our defense.  He’s scared to make a fukkin tackle and backs off far too much, allowing wingers to get into the box.  He was guilty of that in the first half, in the build up to Louis Saha hitting the post.  Get fukkin Santon in before Simpson really drops a bollock!  We were shite in the second half and just allowed them to come at us.  We got lucky that Everton have been shite this season or we could have been punished for that.  Three points is still three points though and the mighty Magpies march on!

Ryan Taylor... Over them all...

Watched Match Of The Day tonight too.  Ali Al Habsi was unbelievable for Wigan today, it’s a shame they got fucked off Wolves.  He needs to find a better team to play for, because he really did not deserve to concede three goals after that performance.  Goal of the Month was a disappointment too.  It should blatantly have been Gutierrez’s goal against Wolves, he skinned three fukkin players before he slotted it past the oncoming goalkeeper and last defender!  That presenter’s an irritating fukkin prick an all!

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