Archive for the Football Category


Posted in Betting Tips, Football with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 1, 2012 by Mallaz

Following week two of the 2012/13 season’s betting tips from yours truly, at a tenner a week, then you would be doing well… SHITE!

 Last week it was underachieving Tottenham Hotspur’s failure to win that screwed my tip and their local rivals Arsenal the week before!

Each week I will tip a four-old accumulator. To be able to keep an accurate score each tip is worth £10 and any profit/loss will be calculated at the end of the football season. At two weeks of £10 bets you would currently be £20 out of pocket.

*disclaimer, following Mallaz’ betting tips will cost you money!*

Click here or previous tips

This Weeks Tips

(£10 four-fold on: )

Manchester City to beat QPR (1/5)

Sheffield Wednesday to win at Crystal Palace (7/5)

Tranmere to beat Colchester (EVS)

Dundee United to win at St, Johnstone (11/10)

Decimal odds of 12.1, with Totesport £10 pays £121.00.


Betting Tips Week 2

Posted in Betting Tips, Football with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 25, 2012 by Mallaz

Welcome back to my old blog. I’ll be using this for random wittering and to continue my usual useless weekly betting tips over the near future. This is due to now being completely fucked and in a transitional period.


This is now my second week of football betting tips of the 2012-2013 season. Last week my ten pound four-fold tip Arsenal to beat Sunderland, Newcastle to beat Tottenham, Blackpool to win at Millwall and Sheffield United to beat Shewsbury. Other than Arsenal, who faild o get th better of Sunderland all of the games that I tipped were correct last weekend. Unfortuntely if one game is wrong you won’t get paid so after the first week of my shite betting tips this season you are already £10 out of pocket.


My £10 four-fold tip this weekend is as follows;

Manchester United to beat Fulham (3/10)

Tottenham to beat West Brom (4/7)

Leeds to win at Peterbrough (11/10)

Blackpool to beat Ipswich (13/10)


With Bet Victor a £10 four-fold pays £98.60 at decimal odds of 9.86.

These tips are late being published and if you followed last weeks then you will already be out of pocket. Good luck this week and hopefully will be back up and running in the very near future. Thanks for your patience.


Posted in Football, General Gobshiting with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 11, 2012 by Mallaz

For those wondering why I’ve been a bit quiet on the blog front, here’s what I’ve been up to.

Get yourself over to

My all new music, art and media based website is now up and running online.

Check out my first news item introducing the site on – and also my Happy Mondays + Inspiral Carpets live at O2 Academy Newcastle form last wek.

God Made It Easy On Me

This site will now become redundant so get over to the new official website and I will be moving all my future gobshiting over to for all future shenanigans.

Like the second Death Star, is still under construction, but it’s weapons systems are quite operational. Stand by for more Mallaz bull-shit relating to music reviews, recommendations, events, art, media ramblings and just down-right nonsense!

Check out my take on the Happy Mondays reunion gig at the O2 Academy Newcastle last Thursday to get you started while I complete the final additions to the new site

Phase two has now begun….


Posted in Betting Tips, Football with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 6, 2012 by Mallaz


If memory serves me right I got last weeks betting tip correct.  Just a quick one today as I’m running well late and about to set off for the Newcastle United v Manchester City, the game which my tip this week is for.

Get £10 on Newcastle‘s Papiss Cisse to score at any time at odds of 21/10.

With Paddy Power, £10 will pay £31.00.

I’ll work out my total scores later, when more time is on my hands.


Posted in Betting Tips, Football, General Gobshiting with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 13, 2012 by Mallaz

For the sceptics out there, surely last week was proof enough that miracles do happen in real life!

For starters, comedy striker Nile Ranger actually managed to score a goal!  Not Ed Zachary known for being a goal machine, serial court attendee Nile Ranger is now playing on loan at formerly famous South Yorkshire club, Sheffield Wednesday in League One.  Last Saturday, the Newcastle United loanee scored in Wednesday’s 2-0 at Huddersfield Town.  Fukkin hell, can you believe that???

Here’s a YouTube video with the highlights for those of you who haven’t seen it.

Follow Nile Ranger on Twitter and be enlightened by pearls of wisdom such as, “No Bwoy.. Can tek arf MI pants, MI nuh play deh di GAME DEH” – @NilePowerRanger 

On an economic note, Sheffield’s branches of Nandos have reported a dramatic increase in business with Nile and his plastic gangsta cronies frequent the restaurants on a daily basis.  But well done to Nile Ranger for that, check out my last blog on the superstar striker.


Also last Saturday, continuing the theme of the impossible happening, my fukkin football betting tip actually won. Fukkin hell, can you believe that???

Last Week’s Betting Tip 

Chelsea, Hearts and Queens Park all won.  So if you did follow my £10 treble last weekend, William Hill would have returned £31.77.  So after nine weeks of £10 bets, that’s a total of £90 staked for a total return of £55.12.

A total loss of £34.88

Falkirk 6/4 with Paddy Power to win at Queen of the South

This week I’m gonna try a four-fold. It’s mostly Scottish football, in the comedy leagues.

This week, get a £10 accumulator on;

Swindon to beat Plymouth (8/15)

Falkirk to win at Queen of the South (6/4)

Cowdenbeath to win at Stirling (8/13)

Queens Park to win at Montrose (10/11)

With Paddy Power, £10 returns £118.22.

Grand National

The nags aren’t really my forte (but then again, football betting isn’t either) but I am having a little flutter on The Grand National tomorrow.  I’ve currently only got an each way bet on both Ballabriggs (12/1) and Calgary Bay (40/1) with Paddy Power.

I did win a few quid on last year’s National too.  It’s always worth a little flutter, but then again, it’s usually more like a lottery.


Posted in Events, Football, Music, Music Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 10, 2012 by Mallaz

He Scores When He Wants!

I’ve been a busy little bastard over the Easter weekend.  On Good Friday I was in Stockton with Honey Chrome at The Sun Inn for a gig by The Skank Sinatra & Friends Show, also featuring Dressed Like Wolves.  Unfortunately that meant that I missed the Swansea v Newcastle game on the telly.  On the Saturday it was The Egg at The Telegraph, my gig and also my celebrations for my 28th birthday which was on the Wednesday.  Sunday was my chill-out day and then the Newcastle v Bolton game at St. James’ Park yesterday.

I’m gonna work my way backwards and start by writing a bit about the Bolton game followed by The Egg then the Sun Inn gig. Then I’ll probably have a little prattle on about some of my upcoming events.  I mean, why the hell not?


Before yesterday’s game at St. James’ Park there were people on Facebook and Twitter predicting Newcastle would win 4 or 5-0.  I never fancied it being a walk in the park.  Before the match I said to Mark ( @Mark2606 ) on Twitter that I thought it would be 2-0, with Papiss Cisse to score the first goal.  I even bet on it, it was 20/1 with Paddy Power.

The first half was tight and neither side really got a foothold on the game or created any clear cut chances.  Papiss Cisse did show some of his quality on the ball and his first touch was impeccable.  Davide Santon showed some signs of improvement in the first half and did well getting forward but we lacked any end product in a difficult first-half, with the play mainly in a congested midfield.  James Perch again had a solid first half and didn’t put a foot wrong.  Yohan Cabaye on the other hand failed to impress and his set-piece play was woeful.  Bolton proved hard to break down in the first 45 minutes and it was goalless at half-time.

Bolton started the second half well and Tim Krul was forced into making a good save from Chris Eagles within five minutes of the restart.  We also had another scare shortly after that when Martin Petrov played a very dangerous ball across our goal, which fortunately Darren Pratley was unable to reach at the back post.

With just over twenty minutes left Hatem Ben Arfa curled a free-kick narrowly wide after Nigel Reo-Coker was booked for a foul on Yohan Cabaye.  Then in the 73rd minute Ben Arfa, obviously finding the 0-0 score-line a bit boring, just decided he’d score.  He picked the ball up in our half and, with an amazing run; he skinned three Bolton players before coolly slotting his shot past Adam Bogdan to make it 1-0.  It was an excellent solo goal by the Frenchman and we were going mental!

He scores when he wants and in the 83rd minute Papiss Cisse decided to add his name to the score-sheet.  Shola Ameobi easily beat Tim Ream and played a perfect pass for Cisse to tap home and put the game out of reach for Bolton.  2-0 to The Toon, making it five consecutive wins and leaving us in fifth place, tied on points with Tottenham Hotspur in fourth place.

Other results in yesterday’s matches have left Newcastle in with a serious shout for Champions’ League football next season, with only five games left this term.  Tottenham lost 2-1 at home to Norwich and Chelsea dropped two points in their 1-1 draw away to Fulham.  Plus Everton trounced Sunderland with a 4-0 win.  It’s always good when the Mackems get hammered!

Mathematically, either four more points or if Everton drop a single point within the next five games we’re guaranteed at least sixth place.  If Liverpool beat Everton in the FA Cup Semi-Final on Saturday then we’re pretty much guaranteed European football next season, NICE!


The name for my gig at The Telegraph on Saturday night wasn’t really Easter related; in fact I named it after The Egg-Man@EggusMaximus ) on Twitter and also the Happy Mondays song of the same name.  The Egg was also my birthday celebration and I was serenaded with Happy Birthday by the awesome Eliza Lawson (that rhymes!) and also Brotha Priah gave me his unique twist on Happy Birthday.  I’d like to thank both of them for that as it really topped off a great night for me.

The Egg was also the largest attendance I have had at a gig so far, improving on the attendance from my last event in March, also at The Telegraph.  I’ve had some really positive feedback about the atmosphere from the artists involved and also some of the people who attended.  I also received some good feedback on my selection of the artists, most notably Parastatic, who most of us had never seen perform live before and were really well received by the audience.  After the relative success of my last two events, (The Telegraph was rammed on Saturday night) I have decided that it’s time to look into securing a larger venue.

I had a last minute change of sound engineer and Sound-Guy Dave did the duty this time.  There were some technical difficulties on the opening set and unfortunately the sound was a bit too quiet for Baiqian Jiang’s acoustic set that kicked off the night.  On the other hand, Baiqian’s performance was flawless.  His fingerstyle guitar work is beautiful, well composed mellow music and a nice start to the evening.  I really recommend listening to Baiqian Jiang’s music on Soundcloud, so here’s a link for that;

Baiqian Jiang on Soundcloud 

Following Baiqian were Artisam, one of my favourite bands to work with.  I’ve worked with Artisam on several occasions and each time they have delivered a unique performance.  This time it was the debut of two new members, Laurie on electric violin and the new drummer Kieran.  Artisam even switched it up mid set with Kieran and Cam swapping drums for bass for a couple songs.  As always Artisam were entertaining and really contributed to the atmosphere of the night.  Check them out on Facebook;

Artisam on Facebook 

Artisam are also gonna be performing at my event at The Bridge Hotel in Newcastle on May 19th.  I’ll get around to that later on, but in the meantime here’s the link to the Facebook event for that.

The Troll at The Bridge 

The third act to perform at The Egg was Parastatic.  As I mentioned before, Parastatic went down a storm and impressed a lot of people there.  Their Krautedelic Electro Fuzz is brilliant and set a dancey tone to the night.  They also added an extra element to the night with strobe lights and visual projections on the wall.  You need to have a listen to Parastatic because quite frankly, they’re class!

Parastatic on Facebook 

The Egg was the first time I’d worked with Parastatic and I would highly recommend them to other promoters.  They were totally professional and a pleasure to work with, as well as their music being shit hot!

The last live band to play was Ginger Snap & The Style Pile.  This was the second time I’ve worked with them after they played at my March event at The Telegraph.  I’ve loved ginger Snap & The Style Pile since I first saw them play live in December and believe they are Newcastle’s Ultimate Party Band.  As always, they had the audience dancing and played a top quality set.  Check them out on Facebook.

Ginger Snap & The Style Pile on Facebook 

The live bands were followed by some Comic Book Hip Hop from Baron Von Alias, MistaBreeze and Eliza Lawson, another act I was working with for the second time.  I’ve become a huge fan of these since they were recommended to me by Spark FM’s Nathan Wood ( @NathanWould ) and ‘Get Wild, Gan Mental’ has practically been adopted as my theme tune, since I slated it on Twitter after Nathan recommended it to me and I’m usually invited on stage to do the dance with them.

Baron, Breeze and Eliza never fail to entertain and The Egg was no exception.  They performed tracks from the recently released ‘Brace For The Impact’ EP as well as tracks from the forthcoming ‘May Contain Nuts’ EP.  Download ‘Brace For The Impact’ and watch the epic video for ‘Impact’ on the following links;

Brace For The Impact 

Impact (video) 

I was a fun-filled, entertaining set, as I’ve come to expect from Baron, Breeze and Eliza and, despite it being a bit embarrassing, it made my day when Eliza sang Happy Birthday to me.  Like their pages on Facebook on the following links;

Baron Von Alias on Facebook 

MistaBreeze on Facebook 

Eliza Lawson on Facebook 

Baron Von Alias, MistaBreeze and Eliza Lawson are also performing live tomorrow night.  They will be at Official Destiny Nightclub for Rex Regis’ album launch party, which is free entry all night so get yourselves down to that.  Details of that event can be found on Facebook on the following link.

Rex Regis: Faithful album launch 

The Hip Hop was followed by Brotha Priah, who totally blew people away.  For the majority of the people there, it was their first time seeing Priah in action and what he does in amazing.  Even during his sound-check, which seemed to take no time at all for such a technological act, there were looks of awe on people’s faces.  Priah beat-boxes and using a looping station and a Kaosspad creates tracks using only the sounds he makes himself.  It’s unbelievable stuff and oozes individuality.  He also performed a rendition of Happy Birthday for me, with his own unique twist.  It was fukkin awesome and he played an epic set!

His next live performance will be at The Warehouse Party, at Dynamix Skate Park in Gateshead, on Saturday 28th April.  Pre-event tickets are only £5 and can be purchased at;

For more details of that event, which also features Baron Von Alias, MistaBreeze and Eliza Lawson, check out the Facebook event on the next link.

SubLevel2 & Milk The Cow present: The Warehouse Party 

To round up the night we had a DJ set performed by Greenline DJ, his debut under that name as he is also Dj Id.  His selection of music seemed to be well received and was a fitting end to the night.  Greenline DJ also took care of the music in between each of the artists’ sets and tied the night together nicely.  As well as rocking a new name, he was also sporting a new design in his facial hair and resembled V from V for Vendetta.

Check out Greenline DJ’s Facebook page on this link;

Greenline DJ on Facebook 

From the feedback I have received so far, and there has been quite a bit, The Egg was a very good night and people really seemed to have enjoyed it.  The attendance was the best I have had so far too, making it the most successful event I have run to date.

Unfortunately I still don’t have any of the photographs or videos of The Egg though from David Johnston Photography yet, but will get the photos uploaded onto Facebook and videos onto YouTube as soon as I do.

Honey Chrome


On Good Friday I was in Stockton on Tees, at The Sun Inn, to see Honey Chrome perform.  Their drummer, Stevie, gave me a lift to and from the venue, which is massively appreciated.

This was the second time I’ve seen Honey Chrome after they performed at my March event at The Telegraph.  This gig was free entry, so you can’t grumble at the price.  Also performing at The Sun Inn were Dressed Like Wolves and the headline act, The Skank Sinatra & Friends Show.  It’s a really small venue so it was a pretty intimate environment and despite being busy, there were only really a handful of people there.

Honey Chrome performed the opening set and played brilliantly.  I was particularly impressed by mR mATTIAS’ vocals on ‘Mind Machine’, which had more of a Punk vibe to them than the recorded version on their website –

I am now also of the belief that Dan may possibly be one of the most technically gifted guitarists I have ever seen live.  The fingers he hasn’t severed off in Karma-balancing, chainsaw-related incidents were going ten-to-the-dozen throughout their set.  I also find their use of samples, especially at the beginning and end of tracks, very interesting.  Unfortunately Honey Chrome’s Psychedelic Ambient Punk-Metal seemed to be wasted on what was predominantly an Indie crowd.

Check out Honey Chrome on Facebook on the following link.

Honey Chrome on Facebook 

Dressed Like Wolves followed Honey Chrome and they were as Indie as they come, which appealed to the audience but unfortunately not to me.  Their effeminately-voiced vocalist didn’t cut any ground with his lyrics and the band’s sound was nothing I haven’t heard before.  Dressed Like Wolves just seemed a bit flat to me and really lack any sort of edge.  It was simply just typical, whiny, generic Indie stuff.  If you want to, check them out on Facebook.

Dressed Like Wolves on Facebook 

The headline band, The Skank Sinatra & Friends Show, did seem pretty interesting.  The Skank Sinatra & Friends Show perform Punk covers of old Swing music such and also Disney songs.  We only managed to catch the very start of their set as Honey Chrome had to leave to get back to their obscure and widespread dwellings in mythical places, and obviously Stevie was my lift.  If you’d like to check out some stuff by The Skank Sinatra & Friends Show, you can find them on Facebook on the next link.

The Skank Sinatra & Friends Show on Facebook 

Honey Chrome are next performing live at Trillians Rock Bar in Newcastle on Wednesday 23rd April.  That event is a Battle of the Bands Semi-Final.  Keep updated for that, and future live performances, on their website or Facebook page.  They’re also booked to play two gigs for me in May, but I’ll get on to that next.


My next live music event is scheduled for Friday 4th May at The Telegraph, on Orchard Street behind Newcastle’s Central Station, again.  I’ve called this event Order 66, after the Jedi Purge in Star Wars.

Order 66 will run until 2am again and begins at 8pm.  The doors will be open from 7.30pm and entry will be charged at £4, payable on the door.  There will be seven acts performing over the course of the night.

The acts performing at Order 66 are;

Honey Chrome (Psychedelic Ambient Punk-Metal)

Peculiar Disco Moves (Alternative Pop)

Emergency Door Release (Indie Pop Rock)

Clint (Alternative Rock)

Cerebral Scars (Games Console DJ)

L87 of SubLevel2 (DJ set)

Double D (Acoustic set)

A full night of music, featuring seven separate artists across a range of genres, for only £4 is a steal so be sure not to miss Order 66 at The Telegraph on Friday 4th May.


Order 66 will be followed just over two weeks later by The Troll at The Bridge, which is being held on Saturday 19th May at The Bridge Hotel, Castle Garth, Newcastle.

This will be a night of live bands running from 8pm until 11pm, with doors opening at 7.30pm and entry being charged at £3 on the door.

There will be four bands performing at The Troll at The Bridge.  They are;

Honey Chrome (Psychedelic Ambient Punk-Metal)

Emergency Door Release (Indie Pop Rock)

Artisam (Alternative Rock)

Downtown Lester Brown (Funk Rock)


Posted in Football with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 2, 2012 by Mallaz

Yesterday Newcastle United humiliated their former manager, Kenny Dalglish, and his Liverpool side at St. James’ Park.  Clueless “King” Kenny watched as his side slumped to a 2-0 defeat and finished the game with ten men.

The game was billed as the decider for a top six finish, with Newcastle beginning the game eight points clear of Liverpool.  It also saw the returns of Jose Enrique and Andy Carroll to St. James’ Park.  Another former Magpie, Craig Bellamy, also started for Liverpool.

Jose Enrique left St. James’ under a bitter cloud after publicly criticising the club’s transfer policy on Twitter.  He stated “This club will never again fight to be among the top 6 again with this policy” after claiming Newcastle were letting all of their major players go.  Has anybody actually missed Jose though?  We started the season with Ryan Taylor at left-back and he was superb.  His goals against Everton and more specifically the free-kick against Sunderland have helped make him a fan’s favourite.  While Davide Santon has struggled to settle in and failed to impress, I still believe we have gotten by just fine without Enrique and guess what Jose…

We’re in the top six!

Andy Carroll cut a pretty miserable figure on his return too.  He was constantly booed and looked a shadow of the player he was when he played in black and white.  I didn’t boo Andy Carroll though, I still like him and Liverpool are my third favourite team, after The Toon and Everton.  I also like Bellamy because he’s an absolute dick-head, but he has the swagger to be able to carry off being a dick-head.  I just don’t like Kenny Dalglish because he ruined us when he was our manager, and I don’t like Enrique because I’ve always thought he was overrated and arrogant.

Liverpool started the game the livelier of the two sides.  A Jonjo Shelvey shot was deflected just over the cross-bar early on and a Martin Skrtel header went over the top before one of the game’s big talking points.  Andy Carroll got the better of Mike Williamson and looked to have rounded Tim Krul before taking a tumble inside the Newcastle penalty area.  He was booked for diving and that epitomised what was a very bad afternoon for Andy Carroll.  If he hadn’t have dived then he was round Tim Krul with an easy finish, even though it was on his wrong foot.

Liverpool continued to press and Tim Krul was forced into a brilliant save when he tipped a deflected Craig Bellamy cross onto the bar as he continues to impress in between the sticks for The Toon.  I still stand by my claims that Tim Krul will become better than Peter Schmeichel ever was.  The visitors from Merseyside also had a very good shout for a penalty waved away after Danny Simpson made yet another goal line clearance, only this time with his arm.

The first goal came in the 19th minuteHatem Ben Arfa, enjoying possibly his best form since joining Newcastle, got the better of the Liverpool defence before his perfectly weighted cross found Papiss Cisse in acres of space at the back post, leaving Cisse with a simple header to put The Toon in front.  It was brilliant work by both Ben Arfa, who really seems to be finding his feet now, and Cisse, who’s positioning was outstanding.  I’m still not convinced that Papiss Cisse is fully settled in yet, although he is a natural born goal-scorer.  I think the best of Cisse is still to come!

Cisse also came close to doubling his tally near the end of the first half when he directed a header just wide of Pepe Reina’s post from a Danny Guthrie cross.  The teams went down the tunnel at half-time with The Toon leading but one goal.

At half-time Me Fatha asked me what we needed to do to make sure that we won this game.  I simply replied, “Score another goal.

In the second half a Newcastle side full of confidence overshadowed a dejected Liverpool side and almost doubled their lead within minutes of the restart when Mike Williamson hit the post with a header.

Papiss Cisse made it 2-0 in the 59th minute when he again found himself in plenty of space with an easy back post tap in after some brilliant Newcastle build-up play typical of a side brimming in confidence.

Tim Krul made a rare mistake just after the hour which allowed Luis Suarez a free chance on goal but another in form Newcastle player, James Perch, made a crucial block.

Things went from bad to worse for Kenny Dalglish’s side in the 81st minute.  Mike Williamson had another header on goal, which this time was saved by Pepe Reina.  As Reina ran out with the ball James Perch tripped the Liverpool goalkeeper.  The reaction of Pepe Reina was that of a stroppy child, he confronted Perch and head-butted him.  Perch over dramatised the matter, which seems commonplace in the Premier League these days, and threw himself to the ground.  There was a bit of fracas with players from both sides involved before the referee took control of the situation and rightly showed Perch a yellow card before sending Pepe Reina off.  Reina’s petulance continued as he didn’t leave the pitch in a hurry only serving to run down the clock.  He continued to shout at James Perch as he left the field and appeared to be saying that more would come after the match.  It was all very petty stuff from the embarrassed goalkeeper.  Reina’s sending off meant that Jose Enrique was forced into seeing out the remainder of the game in goal for Liverpool as Kenny Dalglish had already used all of his substitutes.

The matched finished 2-0 and Newcastle extended their lead over Liverpool to eleven points, tied on points with fifth-placed Chelsea and ten points clear of Everton in seventh place.  That almost certainly guarantees us a top six finish.  So much for Jose Enrique!

Liverpool look to be a club on the slide, whereas Newcastle are a club on the rise.  Andy Carroll has failed to find his form and Kenny Dalglish is now coming under fire.  Newcastle can take positives from the performances of certain players in recent games and now have some momentum going into Friday’s game at Swansea, after winning our last two games.  Hatem Ben Arfa followed up his Man of the Match performance against West Brom with another brilliant display and was involved in creating both of Papiss Cisse’s goals.  Cisse again showed his killer touch and his brilliant positioning play with the two goals.  James Perch was outstanding again, as he has been in recent games and looks as though he is constantly improving.  For me James Perch was the Man of the Match.


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