Archive for TalkShit

DUE TO TALKTALK’S DOUCHBAGERRY…

Posted in Events, General Gobshiting, Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 8, 2012 by Mallaz

Recently My Blog’s Been on the Back Burner!

FUCK TALKTALK!!!

Obviously over the course of the last month or so my internet “provider” TalkTalk has left me in the dark ages over the course of the aforementioned period of time. After being left without a functional internet connection for a couple of weeks while TalkShit had made me repeatedly read through useless information (information that is actually displayed on the website and information that in no way helped identify the cause of the problems with my internet connection). Are you with me so far? Or has the repetitive on-hold song become so fukkin tedious that you’ve hung up?

What it was that had actually caused the problems to my internet connection with TalkTalk was work being carried out on a telephone pole directly next to my place. During the process of this maintenance, those aforementioned engineers had totally dropped a bollock. I had suspected that this due to what would normally be an overheard line lying across my back garden as though it was attempting to top up its tan. In other words, when I reported the problem to TalkShit I actually told them the cause of the exact cause of the problem within that initial contact. What followed that was comical at best, hilarious from a neutral point of view but not when it’s happening to you.

After I had initially reported the problem over a followed by of having intermitting internet connection and being made to switch things off n on n off n on again and then having to dig out the little screwdrivers to clart about with the box to see (shock, horror) no improvement, the internet connection that I had been sporadically receiving over those few days just packed in all together.

Yet another telephone call to re-report the problem and to find out the status was now on repair. TalkTalk had decided they should actually bother to send out an engineer. So, after four days of no internet connection at all and drawing ever closer to a full month since the situation began, TalkShit finally get their fingers out their hoops and send out an engineer.

The engineer had to be getting paid by the hour judging the time it took from TalkShit “sending” him until the point that my connection came back. However, during this entire fiasco I have only managed to physically speak to one person from TalkShit who has “assured” me that I will be compensated for the time that my internet connection has been down. Well I fukkin hope so!

I’ve currently only got a couple of months left on my TalkTalk contract and after various discussions with a wide range of people that I know, it seems these shenanigans aren’t a one-off or even a rarity with TalkTalk, they’re reputation is shambolic. I’ve been given information and details relating to other broadband providers who provide their services without such ignorance and lack of respect to customers. As things currently stand I have no desire to stick with TalkShit thanks to the time they’ve cost me over this last five or so weeks, and we all know time is money. During one of the (many pointless) discussions with TalkShit advisers I was informed that they would reduce my bills as an apology for this ridiculous standard of customer service, which is frankly disgusting, and I fully expect these changes to my bill to be in force when they next start demanding payment for their “services provided” in the next couple of weeks.

This isn’t the last I’ve got to say on these work shy scabby bastards though, so expert to witness the finer details of this customer services catastrophical fuck up to be broadcast and not before too long.

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MUSIC

Obviously for those of who remember that I’m in the business of music will be wondering what’s going on seeing as I haven’t been spewing my shite about that artistic format that we all know and love as often as I would have been, yet at the same time haven’t been running any live music events since ‘Mallaz presents… BiG BEAT BRONSON (Exclusive & Intimate) back in September.

Well the TalkTalk twattery hindered the publications of a few articles early in October and in turn has had me running around chasing my tail, far behind schedule in what has become an increasingly hectic period of my existence. I had written a couple of live music reviews from early in October when the TalkShit troubles began so have been adding to that article as and when I’ve managed to get out and make appearance at gigs and things.

I’m currently updating and editing that information to assure it is all correct at the time of going to publication. I have made it to some outstanding events this month and will soon publish an article relation those recent events and the once mentioned here so far, but that will all most likely be published on Mallaz.co.uk as I am now in the process of rebuilding it. This article will include my review of Lost Highway, the debut album by one of my local favourite groups Parastatic. If you’re too impatient to wait for my words (or think that they’re just bullshit anyway) feel free to form your own opinion and/or buy Lost Highway here – http://104records.bandcamp.com/album/lost-highway-3

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Miss Danby and The What

I’m very proud to announce that recently I have been acquired by a very impressive local band by the name of Miss Danby and the What in the role of their manager. The band formed in the summer of this year and made their debut soon after in an impressive set at The Cluny in Newcastle. Miss Danby has an incredible, unique vocal talent and there is a cool Experimental Punk element to their sound provide by the rest of the What. This band definitely has the ability to set themselves apart from the crowd.

Although it is still very early days with Miss Danby and the What I do believe that they are a band worth the time and effort and the hard work that I pour into every challenge that I am enthusiastic about. I couldn’t be more genuine in saying that Miss Danby and the What have the drive and ambition to make big things happen and are very much a band that I am exciting to have the opportunity to build a good working relationship with.

Currently though, a slight stumbling block for Miss Danby and the What is their need for a new bass player. If you want to join an Experimental Punk band fronted by an exceptionally cool and talented young singer/songwriter and you have ambition, are dedicated and versatile then this could be the role for you.

Check out the details and specifications in this advert http://www.joinmyband.co.uk/classifieds/where-are-all-the-bass-playing-multi-intrumentalists-t409500.html and if you feel that you’re the person for the job…. Well get the reply in there quick and do us all proud!

Check out Miss Danby and the What’s website – http://www.missdanby.com/

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Miss Danby and the What Gig Dates

Wed 19th Dec 2012 –The Bridge Hotel

Bonsai Five presents THE FESTIVE FIASCO

(w/ Maps Are Fiction, Bonsai Five and The Face)

Doors open 8.00pm

Sat 2nd Feb 2013 – The Bridge Hotel

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Mallaz presents… Amateur Night at The Big Top

(w/ The Creep Void, The Shake Appeal and Warning!)

Adv. Tickets £4.00 (+b/fee)

 http://www.wegottickets.com/event/192309

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My Next Currently Confirmed Event

Yeah, it’s been a while since my sell-out at The Bright Hotel that showcased the outstanding BiG BEAT BRONSON performing with a full live backing band in what was, by all purposes, intended on being the last event run by me. It was a very successful event and the things that have happened since that event have changed my perception on a lot of matters in life.

Instead of just jacking it in completely to focus on other ventures I have been urged by several different careers advisers to head down the route of self employment in music and arts based business. It was an idea that I had been put off from following the fiasco of working with certain acts who failed to contribute anything to the scene and atmosphere that I was WORKING towards. The majority were DJs, along with a good handful of bands have fallen far short of expectations, however I’ve not slept since Sunday and this part of my blog is to inform you….

Mallaz presents… Amateur Night at The Big Top

http://www.wegottickets.com/event/192309

Sat 2nd Feb 2013 – The Bridge Hotel (map)

Mallaz presents… Amateur Night at The Big Top

(w/ The Creep Void, The Shake Appeal and Warning!)

Doors open 7.00pm – Adv tickets £4.00 (+b/fee) from – http://www.wegottickets.com/event/192309

The first event that I had (notice had…?) fully confirmed and booked for 2013 is named Amateur Night at The Big Top and will be held at the trusty The Bridge Hotel on Castle Garth, Newcastle on Saturday 2nd February 2013. Mallaz presents… Amateur Night at The Big Top combines four highly-talented, well-respected and unsigned local Rock & Roll bands.

Doors will be open from 7.00pm. Advance tickets are available for £4.00 (plus booking fee) and on the door entry may be charged extra, quite possibly to the tune of a straight fiver.

http://www.wegottickets.com/event/192309

**This event was fully confirmed until last week when Kraken Sound (the hire firm providing the sound equipment and engineers) decided that they no longer wanted to work the sound for Amateur Night at The Big Top due to the artists being involved being Rock bands. This has proved an irritant as pay-out structures for the artists and people involved were calculated on the basis of the equipment and sound engineering costing the price Kraken Sound had quoted me. The only slight positive that I can take from this turn of events is that I have three months to procure a replacement whose rice does not affect the total expenditure of the event, otherwise I could sell this event out yet still lose part of my investment capital**

The Four bands listed for Amateur Night at The Big Top are;

 

Miss Danby and the What

The newest of the four unsigned bands that will grace the stage at The Bridge Hotel is Miss Danby and the What, who formed this summer and made a great impression in their debut performance at The Cluny some short time after. It was a performance that spurred this NARC review;

“Support act Miss Danby and The What, performing live for the first time, were a new find. Danby’s vocals are at once sweet and harsh – like sandpaper dipped in dairy milk, only a lot more pleasant – which the band underpinned with a Lynchian score by virtue of a near fatal dose of reverb.”

As mentioned before, I now work with Miss Danby and the What as their manager so I’m confident that they will take this opportunity to impress everyone that is in attendance to the same extent that they’ve impressed me.

http://www.missdanby.com/

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The Shake Appeal

The Shake Appeal actually performed at my second entirely independent live music event at The Telegraph in March this year and left a lasting impression. I originally booked The Shake Appeal on the recommendation of a couple unconnected people and I am really fond of their music, which has at times seen the South-Tyneside based Alternative Rock group likened to Be Your Own Pet and Rapture.

The Shake Appeal are the only of the four acts to be performing at Amateur Night at The Big Top and I am confident that they will add to the sociable atmosphere that I am hoping to create. In fact I am in regular contact with Phil Morgan, the bass player in The Shake Appeal, and his other group People Making Noises performed an event for me at the end of August at Mallaz presents… Head Of Light Entertainment at The Cluny 2.

From the information currently at my disposal, The Shake Appeal will next be performing live on Thursday 29th November at The Dog & Parrot through Something Else Promotions. Stay tuned to The Shake Appeal on their website for further developments and more details relating to upcoming events.

http://www.theshakeappeal.co.uk/

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The Creep Void

The Creep Void are an act that will have no trouble integrating themselves into the social element of what I am creating in North East music. Several members of The Creep Void have been in the audience of some of my previous live music events, actually supporting the local music scene. That’s something I think should be seen more often. So that’s a positive working in the favour of The Creep Void before I even start on their music.

The Washington/Gateshead Alt Rock band have been together since April last year and have a list of influences longer than a Scouser’s charge sheet. In December they will release the album Apotheosis which will then be followed by the video for the single Not For God’s Sake in January.

The Creep Void Album Launch for Apotheosis will be help at Plugged Inn in Sunderland on 1st December and features support from; One Man Revival, Awkward Weed, People Making Noises, Scarlet Conviction and Indigo Vertebrae. You get all of this for the sake of on poxy quid? Bargain!

https://soundcloud.com/thecreepvoid

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Warning!

Warning! are a Gateshead-based, three-piece, Alternative, Rock band that have been drawn to my attention after several glimmering recommendations from within the North East music scene, making Warning! an act that I have very high expectations of.

Warning! have been a staple fixture within the North East music scene since 2009 and since then have being going from strength to strength since. Their next live performance is at The Indigo Rooms in Sunderland on 17th November. Unfortunately I currently have no further information regarding times or prices for that event s you may need to find to find that out for yourself.

On BBC Newcastle, Nick Roberts had this to say about Warning!, “There are a lot of rock bands knocking about at the minute … A lot of them aren’t very good … These guys are an exception”

https://soundcloud.com/warning-1

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What Next???

Well as I mentioned earlier in this blog I have an article relation to the musical exploits I have witnessed since the beginning or October, however due to TalkTalk metaphorically sodomising I have missed the boat on the majority of the gig reviews and most importantly Parastatic’s album review. The publication of any more reviews and such has been sidelined due to the ever pressing need to reconstruct my Death Star Mallaz.co.uk

Unfortunately this free WordPress blog limits functionality and I am increasingly finding that it’s incapable of performing certain duties. The need for total freedom only available though having my own website has been intensified recently due to the fact that Facebook now want paid for events to be made entirely available. I was already losing patience with Facebook as it is but if it keeps heading down this path it shall soon render itself redundant. I could witness Facebook die its horrible slow and painful death while feeling not a shadow of remorse.

I’ve been saying t a long time to musicians, Facebook does not constitute a worthwhile internet presence. For music you would be better off using Soundcloud or Bandcamp to quickly name a couple or you can even find several bog providers that could more useful than Facebook. A Facebook page IS NOT A WEBSITE although too many acts seem to think a Facebook is just as good. In my opinion, if a band takes itself seriously then they should have a website. If a website is above your budget then set up a free blog and use that and/or Soundcloud as your online visitors’ main port of call. Websites, bogs and Soundcloud are accessible by anyone without them having to create an account to hear your music yet also offer an incredibly easy option to link to all of your other online profiles. But Facebook is dying it’s death now, think about it!

Artists/Bands/Musicians prioritise getting a website! That’s a bit of FREE advice for you!

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Back in Business

Posted in General Gobshiting with tags , , , , , , , , on October 28, 2012 by Mallaz

Thanks to the absolute fukkin incompetence of TalkTalk I’ve been living in the dark ages with no internet for almost two weeks so now I’m well behind with all of my online shenanigans and am now having to play catch up like a twat. Obviously I’m well pissed off at TalkTalk and the level of customer service I received over the course of this issue was fukkin laughable! Being well behind schedule now I’ll have to get into these cunts at some point this week. It’s not a matter that I’ll just let slide though, these pricks have seriously fucked me about!

 This is just a quick heads up on some stuff that I’ve got just about ready and should be reeling off over the next few daze. I’ve been to quite a few gigs since I last published a proper blog post so will be giving my usual patter on what I’ve been witnessing music wise, which also includes my take on Parastatic’s debut album Lost Highway which is available from – http://104records.bandcamp.com/

 There’s also some political shit going on with the election of the Police and Crime Commissioner for Northumbria Police area happening on Thursday 15th November and seeing as it’s the first time in my life that I’ve been registered to vote then I’m definitely gonna have my say on which fukka sends their goons to kick the shit out of me. For more information go to – http://www.choosemypcc.org.uk/candidates/area/northumbria

 Obviously I’m gonna have to nail those TalkTalk bastards as well because I’m massively aggrieved by those clowns and I’ll also be releasing some details of shit that I’ve got in the pipeline, including the rebuilding of Mallaz.co.uk and the progress I’ve been making in setting up my own business.

Aye it’s all fukkin go now. Thank fuck for the clocks going back an hour eh? That goes a small way to buying back the two fukkin weeks TalkShit have cost me the absolute fukkin ballbags! Anyway, barring any more fuck ups from those tubes, expect to hear me spouting all kinds of shite in the imminent future!

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